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This period represents a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the mainstream. Initially, the concept that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an commonly unsuccessful endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a coordinated attack on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their millennial forerunners could ever fathom. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a detailed guide to the phrases this generation is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most enduring memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – In the view of Zoomers, romance's gold standard is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This means choosing someone who supports you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A outing where two people connect while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do low-cost romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional affluence, it refers to pairs who forgo parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners unstable, poor tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your choice to pursue a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band many young men is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and frequently trivial repulsions that instantly kill any sense of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet act.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {